How will the codigos survive?

I have written several posts on how I believe the codigos will disappear with the milongueros, because they are the ones who practiced them for decades in the confiterias bailables, clubes de barrio, and cabarets.  Using the codigos showed others the way to enter a salon, how to invite a lady to dance, and how to navigate the floor and much more.

The codigos should be presented and practiced in every tango class.  Attending ballroom dance classes and parties in Chicago, I learned about the rules of the dance floor during practice sessions.  Every sport has its rules which one has to know to play the game.  It’s the same with tango, but the codigos are unlike those for social dancing in other countries.

Teachers should begin with proper dance etiquette during the first classes to provide a framework for social dancing.  The more dancers know about the codigos of the milongueros, the more they will enjoy a milonga experience.

Continuing to practice the codigos at every tango event one attends anywhere in the world is the perfect way of honoring the milongueros who respected the codigos for decades and passed them on by their example.  The survival of the codigos is essential to the survival of tango in the world.  The codigos were the foundation of social behavior that young men learned from seasoned dancers in the 1940s .  Those who did not respect the codigos were asked to leave.

Taking tango classes with stage performers is like learning how to drive a car without any knowledge of the rules of the road.  They don’t have any rules to follow when they are the only ones on stage.  The milonga and the stage are two different worlds.

“A milonguero can dance on stage, but stage performers cannot dance in milongas.” — Ricardo Vidort

Milonguero codes

I believe the codes of the Cosa Nostra (which means “our thing”) and the codes of the milongueros in Buenos Aires have many things in common.

The Cosa Nostra began during the middle of the 19th century, although confirmation of its existence in Italy wasn’t acknowledged until 1992. It is a brotherhood with rituals, rules of behavior, and a code of honor–don’t talk, listen, and observe. The codes are unwritten and passed on by word of mouth by its members. They are codes for life. The Cosa Nostra exists in only two countries in the world–Sicily and the USA since many Italians immigrated to New York before World War I.

From 1870-1914 (when tango’s predecessor the milonga was being created by musicians), there was a large migration of Italians to Buenos Aires. Many of the poets and composers of tango were of Italian descent-Miguel Calo, Carlos Di Sarli, Homero Manzi, Enrique Discepelo, Julio DeCaro, etc. The codes of the milongueros pattern those of the Cosa Nostra in many ways–behavior, silence, respect and nothing being written. With so many Italians living in Buenos Aires at the turn of the century, it’s no surprise that the codes of the milongueros were established and passed on the same way as the Cosa Nostra traditions.

Buenos Aires and tango are so closely linked by history and culture, that if you separate them, you end up with something else. Milongas in the United States hardly resemble those in Buenos Aires. Milongas are called as such because of the presence of milongueros. Americans organize parties for socializing and tango dancing, but they aren’t true milongas without the codes. In Buenos Aires, one’s personal life is left at the door when a man enters the milonga. Tango is more than a dance for the milongueros–it is their life, what they have lived.

The codes are disappearing from the milongas in Buenos Aires for a singular reason–the milongueros are disappearing.

Nowadays anything goes in tango

Several years ago, the time seemed right for me to donate my tango clothes and shoes and retire from my regular schedule at the milongas.  In a way, I am relieved.  I was used to respect for the codes after twenty years.  Times have changed.

The only place I’ve heard tango music recently is at the Milonga Federal in the Centro Cultural Kirchner on Thursday evening.  That is where anything goes.  I attend wearing pants and sneakers to watch the dancing and enjoy the music, but I never dance. One thing is for certain — I will never get used to seeing two men dancing tango.  I heard milongueros talk about learning to dance with another guy in the neighborhood.  That’s how they learned before they went to the neighborhood clubs to dance with the young ladies.  Practicing is one thing, but dancing socially is another.

One of my students was interested in having a private lesson with my tango teacher from Argentina in 1993.  It was only natural for him to learn tango from a man.

These men attended my tango classes with their wives (1997), but they decided to try dancing together at the studio.

Nito and Elba Garcia were visiting Chicago in August 1998, to give classes at Tango…nada mas.  Nito wanted to demonstrate his ability to dance blindfolded, so the owner of the studio seized the moment.

The words of Juan Carlos Copes are embedded in my memory. He said in a film, “tango is danced between a man and a woman.”  I agree.

Mandate milonga codes

It seems there were many disgruntled people at the reopening of Salon Canning on Saturday, June 3.  They didn’t like or agree with the conditions for entry that was posted, so they complained about it on Facebook.  The organizer that rented the salon had every right to establish the rules and avoid asking people to leave.  As in any sport, there are rules.  If you don’t obey the rules, you don’t play the game.

This wasn’t the first time that a milonga had the rules posted.  I wrote about Hector Pelloso, organizer of Cachirulo.  He posted his rules in several languages at his milonga.  If he saw anyone disobeying the rules, they were asked to leave.

Argentina depends on tourism.  Buenos Aires depends on tourism for tango, especially during the winter months to keep the milongas open.  Dancers who have come for many years respect the codes.  All social dances have rules to follow.  Tango is no different.

Those who hold milongas without a dress code, without the cabeceo, and without the basic floor rules are only interested in tango as a business.  Tango without codes is a disaster.

Survey — where do you dance? are the codes mandated? is there a dress code?  do you dance to traditional music?  what are your thoughts about the future of tango as a social dance?

Ten commandments of the milongueros

These are the unwritten rules that every milonguero respects.

1.  Thou shalt always dress well.  A milonguero bathes and shaves before the milonga. A pressed suit, clean shirt and tie are his uniform. Trimmed hair, shined shoes, and scent of cologne complete his attire for the milonga.

2.  Thou shalt dance ones own style.  A milonguero is a self-taught dancer with his own style, who can dance elegantly with any woman and make her happy.  A milonguero has learned by observing others, but he never copied them.

3.  Thou shalt dance well or not at all.  If there is no woman with whom he can dance his best, a milonguero is content to listen to the music and observe the dancing.

4.  Thou shalt dance for yourself and your partner.  A milonguero dances what he feels and transmits that feeling to his partner.  He doesn’t dance to perform or for applause.

5.  Thou shalt treat women with respect.  A milonguero never approaches a woman at her table or greets women while entering the milonga.

6.  Thou shalt invite a woman to dance from the table. A milonguero uses either a tilt of the head or movement of the lips to invite a woman to dance.  The invitation is subtle and not obvious to others in the salon.  Once a woman refuses his invitation, he will not invite her again.

7.  Thou shalt not dance with another man’s partner.  A milonguero takes time to watch the floor for several tandas so that he knows if a woman he wants to invite has a commitment with another man.  This is not always obvious since they sit separately, but dance only with one another.  A milonguero learned patience.

8.  Thou shalt dance in the floor space available.  A milonguero dances compactly without interfering with others dancing.  If he touches other dancers, he quickly acknowledges it by raising his hand.

9.  Thou shalt not dance consecutive tandas. A milonguero dances only when the music inspires him.  He can wait hours to hear his favorite orchestra or a certain tanda that inspires him to dance.  A milonguero prefers quality over quantity of dances.

10. Thou shalt not be seen leaving the milonga with a woman.  A milonguero arranges to meet a woman on the street.  He always leaves the milonga alone, just as he enters it.

_______________________

“The codes are like the commandments which were born with the tango.”  — Ricardo Vidort

Encounter with a machista

It’s a man’s world, but times are changing.  Women around the world are demanding change in the things as they are in a male-dominated society.  We have power and have to own it.

I had an interesting situation today while walking to the bank.  Buenos Aires is a walking city.  It’s normal for men to move aside for women, young to change their path for seniors.  There is courtesy on the street.

I was walking next to the buildings on a wide sidewalk when I was suddenly confronted by a man from the other direction.  He decided that I should move for him because he wanted to enter an apartment building a few feet away.  In all of my twenty years in Buenos Aires, this was the first time I met someone who didn’t behave as a gentleman.

We were standing there for a few minutes.  I smiled and asked if he knows how to dance.  It felt like I was meeting someone on the dance floor.  No, I don’t dance, he said.  I was speaking in a normal tone of voice while smiling at him.  I said, gentlemen move for ladies.  You’re aggressive, he said, and I’m no gentleman.

If I had to deal with this situation regularly, I might have left the country years ago.  The milongueros viejos I’ve known over the years are gentlemen.

When I entered and left the bank, gentlemen held the door for me.  That’s the way it is.  Courtesy hasn’t gone out of style.

Which is your technique — gazing or staring?

Over the years, several milongueros viejos have told me how important subtlety was when inviting a woman to dance if she refused him by looking in another direction.  After one refusal from a woman, a milonguero viejo didn’t look again in her direction.  That way they avoided public embarrassment after a refusal when the mirada/cabeceo came into use in the early 1940s.  Men moved from standing in the center of the floor to sitting at tables*.  It wasn’t obvious to anyone who invited who until two people united to dance.

I like watching the men who nonchalantly make the slightest movement (from where they’re seated) to invite a woman on the other side of the room or a table nearby.  That takes practice and perfect timing.

There is a big difference between gazing and staring at a stranger across the dance floor.  Often just a glance is all it takes.

gaze: look steadily and intently, especially in admiration, surprise, or thought.

stare: look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one’s eyes wide open.

glance: take a brief or hurried look.

The stare technique may only result in the other person looking away as if not to notice you.  The gaze technique is clear yet subtle.  Glances with a smile are nice surprises.

Which technique do you use successfully?

*Alito was the first to use tables in the salon in Centro Region Leonesa.  That way the men didn’t have to leave the dance to have a drink.

Nonstop dancing

They were sitting right behind me in Obelisco Tango.  I heard the woman speaking in English with another friend at the table.  When she got up to dance with the taxi dancer, I went to talk with the friend.  She said that Anita is from NYC and was there for two hours of dancing.

Later I introduced myself to Anita, and we got to know one another in a matter of an hour.  She mentioned several times that “I’m paying him to dance with me,” and she didn’t want to sit out a tanda.  She was in Buenos Aires for a conference until Saturday, and she decided to make a point of dancing tango, too.

There are so many milongas in NYC, though I know things are different there.  She was curious about why all the men were on one side of the floor and the women on the opposite side.  She asked if there were any couples at the milonga.  She didn’t know much Spanish, and her taxi dancer didn’t speak much English.  She was happy anyway.

“In New York, we do lots of fancy steps in tango.  Why is everyone just walking to the music?”  Well, I explained, in Buenos Aires it’s what you feel in the music that matters, not the steps.

Why don’t you give close embrace a try with your dance partner?  You may even like it.  After all, you’re in Buenos Aires and have an Argentine partner.  He was willing to try, and so was she.  I took out my camera to record a short video of them.  The smile on her face as she returned to the table was confirmation that she liked it. That was her last tanda.

I tried convincing her to stay at the milonga after her taxi dancer’s time had expired, but he escorted her to the hotel in a taxi.  We were so engaged in conversation that she forgot to pay the drink bill.  The waitress spoke with me about it, and I paid it.

I gave Anita my card so I could send her the photo and the video of her night at Obelisco when she writes.  She’s back in NYC now.  I hope I’ll still be dancing tango when I reach her age.

An interception from left field

I wasn’t wearing my glasses yesterday in El Maipu de Lucy y Dany, yet I didn’t have a problem seeing that Carmelo was looking directly at me for the next tanda.  I accepted with a smile.  He was right next to the bar at the first table, no more than twelve feet from me.  I was at my usual table in the second row. I got up to join him and saw another woman arrived to dance with him.  I returned to my table.

A man saw what happened and invited me for the tanda.  I accepted.  As we entered the floor, Carmelo apologized to me for the interception, although it wasn’t clear to me.  I let him know it wasn’t a problem.

Later Carmelo invited me for a tanda.  There was no doubt in my mind that he invited me, since there were no other women near me.  He explained that he invited me to dance earlier, not the other woman.  She entered the milonga after smoking a cigarette outside and took advantage of the moment for a very convenient interception while walking by.  She made no apology for it.  I refer to them as piranhas.  Her table was on the opposite end of the room.  We laughed about it.

Which technique do you prefer? bend over or leg lift

In 1996, I joined a tour group from Los Angeles for my first visit to the Buenos Aires milongas. The tour organizers knew the milonga codes and customs, including changing shoes in the restroom, not at the table.  Most women go wearing shoes for dancing.  I remember attending the milonga at Club Almagro on Medrano and going directly to the restroom to change into my dance shoes.  It’s one thing changing shoes for dance classes at your local studio, but the custom is different in the milongas of Buenos Aires.  You won’t see the milongueros changing their shoes . . . ever.  Even soccer players get dressed in a locker room, not on the field.

Oh, how things have changed in the milongas.

I don’t understand why so many women today change shoes at the table.  Where do they wash their hands before the first tanda?  Do they think no one is watching them?  Is it such a long walk to the restroom to change one’s shoes and attend to other personal matters? It’s such a big time saver to do these things at the table in full view of everyone.

There are two techniques of shoe changing at the table.  The photo above shows the “bend over” technique.  First, she removes her street shoes and leaves them under the table or packs them away in a bag.  How elegant is it to see bare feet? The milonga isn’t on the beach.  She may even take a moment to shake foot powder into her dance shoes or on her feet.  Buckling the straps takes a few minutes with the knees together.  Why waste time going to the restroom when the “bend over” is accomplished in full view of everyone?  Men get to size up your butt.

The second is the “leg lift” technique which has two variations: one is a knee lift to the chest; the other is placing a foot on the leg. The latter allows the woman seated next to you to get a whiff of your smelly feet if she is unlucky enough sitting out the tanda.

If you’re on the edge of the dance floor or near an aisle, you offer a private show for the men.  I couldn’t believe the scene yesterday in Obelisco Tango.  It was so outrageous that I stood up and stared at the woman changing her shoes with her skirt completely open as if there was no one else in the room.  Two men seated in front of me didn’t miss the show, and she got a tanda very soon with one of them.  I pointed out the scene to the other women at the table who both replied they always change shoes at the table.  A few minutes later, one of them asked me for directions to the ladies room and was wearing her dance shoes.

 

The two women next to me are culprits. The woman with her back to the camera asked me for directions to the ladies’ room and has no problem with changing shoes at the table.