A friend and I were having a phone conversation today about selecting partners in the milongas. We agree that it is important to observe how a man dances first, but it’s not an indication of what to expect. Appearances don’t tell the whole story.
There are men who demonstrate their entire repertoire of steps to impress their partners, but the experience is often unpleasant. These men dance for themselves and to be seen by others. Their partners are only a means to an end.
On the other hand, there are those who dance very simply with feeling in every movement with the music. This is the key element in their dancing. The steps aren’t important. They put their soul into each dance. That is tango.
Tags: tango
Tango Chamuyo 
September 20, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I agree with the two last paragraphs, but I think it is possible to get a good indication by observing how people dance. Not the full story, but enough to improve your odds considerably. It takes a lot of experience, though.
September 21, 2009 at 10:17 am
Life is full of surprises. The milonga is no different. It’s better that way.
September 22, 2009 at 11:28 am
Agreed. I’m a leader who has been learning the dance for a little over a year. I used to be all about showing off on the dance floor and for letting my partner show off. A few months ago, though, I had an epiphany thanks to something that my tango mentor told me: there are two types of tango – feel-good and look-good. She subsequently told me that I focus more on intricate steps and footwork rather than the connection with the woman, and that I should cut that down. Ever since, I’ve been pursuing the feel-good dance. Not as easy as look-good because it’s so subjective… but working on it.
September 22, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Jaimito,
Your tango mentor gave you excellent advice which you have followed. You will find more pleasure from the feeling of tango than dancing to impress.
If only more of those who teach could be convinced that tango isn’t about steps. We would have more real tango dancers.