The last four examples of women’s embraces.
The Spine Press
This is one of the strangest possibilities that I’ve seen in the milongas. The woman has stress in her wrist to do it. It isn’t aesthetically nor physically pleasing, and I am curious about its origin. It is not as common as the other examples, but is used by mainly foreign women. I can hope that they will realize that discomfort is not necessary and relax before serious problems develop.
The Sweaty Palm
I call it that for lack of a better name. I haven’t a clue about why women turn the arm so the back of the hand is touching the man’s back and not the palm. If a woman begins and ends the dance with her hand in this way, it is her favorite for some reason. I’ll have to corner a woman in the ladies’ room for the answer. Didn’t Anette Benning adopt it while dancing with Michael Douglas in the movie, “The American President”?
The Lover’s Embrace
I remember a couple at Club Almagro. She cradled his head in her hand so lovingly while tilting her head backwards to press her lips to his cheek. That hand position usually indicates that they are a couple and not dancing with anyone else. The women who aren’t aware of the significance use the lover’s embrace with every man to see what might develop.
The Natural Embrace
And last, is my favorite one of all. It’s the standard. Nothing fancy, no tension, no pain, no control. It’s been around for a long time and won’t be disappearing from use any time soon. It’s the same as a hug we give family and friends, except with only one arm. Notice how the arm is just above the horizontal seam of his shirt. The woman can give the man a signal not to step back by applying slight pressure with the hand. It’s the only one that serves this purpose.
I’ve wanted to document the variety of embraces with photos for years; Bob and Viv were the perfect couple to help me. When we finished, I realized it was time to focus on the man’s embrace. The next series will be posted soon.
Tango Chamuyo 
October 29, 2010 at 3:47 am
Ha, ha, ha. I love you already without even meeting. Great to see someone happy to take on the awful embrace syndrome.
:))
October 31, 2010 at 1:43 pm
love this series, Janis. Long live the “natural embrace”
February 22, 2012 at 3:15 am
I used to use the sweaty palm – for a very short while studying with a teacher that had a terrible “I am the patron saint of tango in this town” attitude and either enforced or didn’t fix many bad habits that developed in his students. Besides that mini-rant, though, my reason for using it was an exercise that, unfortunately, stuck. The lady that was his partner (no more; thank goodness! she was a much better teacher) said that if the women can’t help but use weight and grip onto the men, try the embrace with the hand turned around, and then when getting used to that “hug,” not grip, turn it back. She never meant it as a permanent embrace to use on the social floor, but I had the habit until somebody pointed it out and asked why I am so averse to giving a friendly hug to the person I am to be dancing closely with in the next 10 minutes. =)
February 22, 2012 at 10:28 am
Elizabeth,
Thanks for sharing your story. The teachers should have explained that a woman carries her own weight no matter what the social dance. A friend helped you more than the teachers.
June 22, 2021 at 10:17 am
I prefer what you call “the neck brace”. And will refuse to dance with some women having ridiculous embraces. If they have fears, they shall stay home and buy a dog for protection.
June 22, 2021 at 7:58 pm
As long as both are comfortable in the embrace, that is all that matters. There are many options for women, so they choose what is most comfortable.
Glad you found this post of interest to you. I haven’t read it for a long time. There isn’t much embracing going on these days in Buenos Aires. All are hoping for milongas by summer, six months from now.