Sizing up dance partners

According to Helen Fisher, PhD, we are built to instantly size up a potential partner, an intuitive skill that likely developed millions of years ago as our forebears struggled to rapidly sort friends from enemies.  We regularly make up our minds about whether an individual could be an appropriate match within the first three minutes of talking to him (or her).  It takes one second to decide whether you find someone physically attractive.  The next checkpoint is voice which takes only seconds. 

We apply these same skills to sizing up dance partners at a milonga.  It takes only a split second to determine if someone is too tall, too short, too old, too young, too grubby, too whatever or not, for a tanda.  No one has to know our reasons for selecting a certain partner over another because we may not even be conscious ourselves.  Once we are in the embrace and begin dancing, we know immediately if it was a right decision by how it feels.  It boils down to the energy we share with someone in the music.

Luis Grondona

October 23, 1938 –

I went to the Geriatrico in my neighborhood where Luis has been living for three years.  He didn’t notice my arrival since he was walking down the hallway with his therapist Jorge.  It was a wonderful surprise to see his progress.  He walks every day and is gaining strength in his legs.  He and Jorge have a deal–when Luis is able to walk on his own, he has to teach Jorge to dance. 

Luis is usually seated in a wheelchair in the afternoon, listening to tango on the radio and drinking mate when friends and family come to visit him.  His wife Mirta and daughters live in Avellaneda, where Mirta teaches tango and organizes a milonga with Oscar Hector.  The sale of Luis’ instructional DVDs helps pay for his care at the geriatrico.

Alito

Miguel Angel Balbi, Ricardo Vidour, Alito & Ivonne Laens (2001)

Alito is married to the milonga.  Tango is his world and his life.  He and Ricardo Vidour were close friends their entire lives.

His friends in the milongas have helped him financially for years.  Alito’s health and mental capacity have deteriorated rapidly in the last month.  He has been living on the street.  He hasn’t been the same man who always dressed smartly for the milonga.  He has serious health problems and needs medical attention which never concerned him.  Thanks to the efforts of Oscar Casas, Alito is finally receiving the medical attention he has needed for years in the Hospital de Clinicas. 

Alito and Oscar (2005)

A benefit for Alito was held on Tuesday, October 13 in El Beso that raised $5,000 AP.    He deserves to live the remainder of his life with dignity.  This video shows all those who came out to support him.

He was walking in the Hospital de Clinicas with Oscar Casas.  This is the first time Alito has ever worn a pair of blue jeans–not exactly standard dress for a milonguero.

Hospital de Clinicas is for emergency cases only, so Alito has been transferred to Hospital Israelita in Paternal for on-going care until there is a place for him at a Geriatrico.

Dancing in the dark

I have read about dance venues abroad where dim lighting is used to create a romantic atmosphere for tango.  Unfortunately, it also prevents men from inviting women to dance with the cabeceo.  It seems like an interesting way to avoid its use.  Here is another post in favor of lights.

The other night I took this photo during the cumbia/salsa tanda in Lo de Celia.  Dancing begins with normal lighting for the cabeceo that is turned off for the rest of the tanda. This is a standard procedure in the milongas in Buenos Aires for tropical tandas only.  The lighting is returned to its normal setting for the cortina.  Dancers circulate around the room to salsa, cumbia and merengue music.

This topic reminds me of a tune sung many years ago by Bing Crosby:

Dancing in the dark Till the tune ends,
We’re dancing in the dark and it soon ends,
We’re waltzing in the wonder of why we’re here,
Time hurries by, we’re here and gone;

Looking for the light of a new love,
To brighten up the night, I have you love,
And we can face the music together,
Dancing in the dark.

Julio Alé

September 29, 1932 –

I posted last year on his birthday, but this photo was taken the other day when we danced in Lo de Celia.  He is a gem.

Cliver Gomez

September 28, 1934 –

Cliver was born in Uruguay, but has lived most of his life in Buenos Aires. He learned tango dancing to Juan D’Arienzo’s orchestra and insists that Carlos Gardel was born in Uruguay instead of France.

I learned Chacarera ten years ago and finally have Cliver as a partner every Sunday to dance it during the milonga.

Milongueros and Dancers–the differences

There exists a multitude of ways to dance tango, so many ways to feel it. Still, as in other fields, we can make certain generalizations. One of the divisions I observed is between th0se who are milongueros and those who are dancers.

I’m not talking about a division based on the place where they dance (be it stage or dance floor) nor on the frequency. I am talking about something deeper that you can only see with a way of feeling and expressing the music.

Anatomy of the subjects of this study

To be intrinsically milonguero one has to do something more than simply go to the milongas frequently. There are dancers who go every day and conserve their essence as dancers. To be intrinsically a dancer is more that taking classes or being in a show.

The main difference between them is that the milonguero dances to feel well and the dancer to look good. This doesn’t mean that the dance of the milonguero is less pleasing to see. The feeling that he gives when he begins a tango makes you see that he transmits something special, and on the other hand at times a dancer, in his search for esthetics can lose harmonious paths. The beauty of the dance depends more on the quality of each one and, of course, on the point of view of those who observe it.

Enjoyment

The milonguero: he desires the closeness of the contact. He likes to embrace and be embraced, and this is one of his greatest pleasures in the dance.

The dancer: enjoys the movement more. His embrace is a means for his enjoyment of the dance and not an end.

Connection

The milonguero: he connects with his partner in the stillness of pauses. He embraces his partner, making connection with her through movement. He dances the silences and continues the cadence.

The dancer: he connects for the movement, it’s a dynamic contact. He embraces his partner, moves, and then makes contact. He gives less importance to the rhythm and prefers changes in velocity.

Style

The Milonguero: generally he possesses a limited quantity of steps, well executed and simple, that he repeats varying the order. He increases the number or the complexity of the them implying he is more cerebral in the dance, his primary enjoyment.

The dancer: disposes an arsenal of steps, constantly growing in number and complexity, caused by his esthetic search and also for certain sensation that to repeat a step in the same tango or very soon is shameful. Anyway, as a woman who enlarges her wardrobe to wear a new dress to each party she attends, so a dancer is always memorizing new steps and combinations that he will demonstrate at the next milonga.

Learning to dance

The milonguero: he never attended classes. His guide is practice and the floor where he dances. In addition, there are few adequate teachers (difficult knowledge to transmit); the adequate way to walk, the feet, and how to lead. They show very good technique in some aspects, and in others, none.

The dancer: he attends many classes, at times more than going to the milongas. And if he has to choose prefers to go to practicas where there is more freedom and space to experiment and test things. His principal interest is the steps and new techniques; he is always looking for new things and perfecting them. Although he doesn’t give much attention to the simple details, like simply walking a tango and his feet, he is always looking for a more comfortable position.

Lead

The milonguero: he has a very clear lead, understandable by beginners, very smooth but with security and firmness. The milongueras, on their part, know how to adapt to every type of embrace and, once more, they enjoy them. Even though there will be misunderstandings in dance, they are resolved with elegance, generally without being noticed. Both are displeased and uncomfortable with an open embrace.

The dancer: he knows more types of leads for all the steps he knows. Yes, of course, they need a partner that know how to follow well, and knows their techniques, or they are very limited. Female dancers possess enough sensitivity, but if the lead isn’t precise, or it is a different style to which they are accustomed, they are seen in problems.

________________________

Translated with permission by Ricardo Schoua.   Opinion of Oscar Pereira published in Tango y Cultura Popular No. 107   Original source of article is unknown.

You can’t tell a book by its cover

A friend and I were having a phone conversation today about selecting partners in the milongas.  We agree that it is important to observe how a man dances first, but it’s not an indication of what to expect.  Appearances don’t tell the whole story.

There are men who demonstrate their entire repertoire of steps to impress their partners, but the experience is often unpleasant.  These men dance for themselves and to be seen by others.  Their partners are only a means to an end. 

On the other hand, there are those who dance very simply with feeling in every movement with the music.  This is the key element in their dancing.  The steps aren’t important.  They put their soul into each dance.  That is tango.

Chamuyando con milongueros

I was on a bus after getting a haircut in Lanus.  There are thousands of buses in the city, but Chiche got on the same one I was on Wednesday afternoon.  I hadn’t seen him for a year.  We had a half hour to chat about the milongas.  Chiche said “the dance floors are worse than ever because men look down at the floor and bump into others.  They all dance the same way to every orchestra.  The level isn’t what it was a few years ago.  Many milongueros have stopped going to the milongas.  We were in Gricel one night when a waiter came to our table and said that a foreigner wanted to dance with me.  Elba told him that she would have to pay twenty dollars for four dances with me.  We never danced.” 

I called Jorge for his birthday, and we chatted for an hour. ” I’ve been giving private lessons to a young Argentine who travels to teach in the United States.  He says that he wants to bring me there to teach with him in February.  I gave him my curriculum so his American partner can apply for my work permit.  They have had eight hours of classes with me.  We’ll see what happens.  I have been out of the country only once in my life when I went to Spain.  I would like to visit the United States.“  Have you seen the videos of yourself on YouTube?  “No, how do I find them?  I will ask my niece to help me.”  Just search your name and you will find them.  By the way, I see there is a new video of you from just two weeks ago.  “That’s the one he filmed recently of me dancing with his partner.  I haven’t seen it yet.” 

Last night after the first dance of a tanda, Julio asks, “do you like dancing with me?”  I tell him “no” and wait for his response.  You know I have to dance with different women.  If I dance several tandas with the same one, she falls in love with me.  I can’t let that happen.”  I know what you mean.

Flying first class

Every time I boarded an airplane, I walked through the first-class section where passengers were comfortable in the wider seats and already being served drinks while those of us in tourist class were being squeezed into tight quarters.  I never had the chance to fly first class, but I enjoy a different kind of flying–dancing tango.

I started out in the milongas of Buenos Aires in tourist class.  There were many times when I didn’t think I would make it back to my seat after ten minutes of turbulence on the floor.  I survived my share of rough and bumpy excursions.  I didn’t know others in tourist class, so it was a game of trial and error.  It’s a learning experience in tourist class. 

It took months to learn who was in first class in the milongas.  After accumulating frequent flier miles in tourist class, I unexpectedly found myself with a man from first class.  I knew it immediately because the ride was incredibly smooth, and I was soaring.  There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to leave tourist class and travel first class all the time.  I am happy to say that I have traveled first class since my first upgrade.

Once you have felt the comfort of flying first class in the embrace of a milonguero, you will never want to go back tourist class.  It’s the only way to fly.