Today is the tenth anniversary of my arrival to live in Buenos Aires. I was enrolled in a continuing education course I call ”Milonga Codes and Customs” with no materials for study. Everything was either observed or shared by milongueros. I want to share a few things I learned.
One’s tango dancing improves in the milongas.
Attending tango classes hasn’t really helped my dancing when I think about it. What has helped me the most is going to dance, having to adjust to every partner’s style and improvising in the moment.
A man who comes to the table doesn’t know how to dance.
I learned this lesson the hard way with lots of awful tandas because I wanted to dance. It took time to be able to avoid responding to those who approach the table. I would rather sit and enjoy the music than suffer through a tanda.
The tango embrace of an Argentine is why women return to Buenos Aires.
Tango is an embrace in Buenos Aires. Argentine men love tango and women. They aren’t shy about embracing women. Foreign women find the embrace they have dreamed of. The trip is worth it for this alone.
Each tango orchestra has a unique style just like every milonguero.
It took years for this revelation even though I am a trained musician. When it finally dawned on me, I relied on my musically trained ear to help me identify the orchestra before I selected a potential partner for each tanda.
The organizer sets the tone of each milonga.
Not all milongas are alike. Knowing the organizer and deejay gives you a pretty good idea about a milonga. Then when you finally get comfortable going regularly to your favorite milongas, things will probably change.
There are very few men who dance tango very well.
Visualize a pyramid. The masses are at the bottom, but only a few preserver and achieve the summit. That’s the way it is in every endeavor in life. We may not be the best dancers in the world, but we can always dance our best. That’s enough. We dance our best with those who dance well.
Respect the tradition of the cabeceo.
The cabeceo (movement of the head) has been used in Buenos Aires for decades to invite a woman to dance. It’s a test for learning patience. We should respect the tradition along with the rest of the milonga codes.
Music is why we dance.
It can inspire us. It can transport us. We need to connect with it in order to express it. Then we understand why tango isn’t just a dance, but it’s a feeling that is danced. We have to know the music well to dance well. There is nothing quite like tango.
The milongueros are a vanishing species.
There aren’t many of them left. There will never be another generation like them. They are the self-taught dancers who learned from their youth and lived for the nights of tango along Corrientes. They dance well or not at all. They taught me what it means to dance tango.
Tags: cabeceo, milongueros, tango embrace, tango music
